Shuichiella
by Kawaii Amethist
Summary: My take on the Cinderella story - as if you couldn't tell...:P
1. Default Chapter

**Shuichiella**  
  
Once upon a time there was a great band named Bad Luck. This band travelled the kingdoms throughout many lands and was very prosperous. However one day their producer was accidentally...mysteriously shot by an arrow. Bad Luck's career then went downhill and they weren't making much money. So they decided to give up the music scene and live in their manager's wife's castle together.  
  
Because the band was now rather broke and couldn't afford a maid, they dressed their lead singer, Shuichi Shindo, as one and forced him to do all the work – it was only fair as his laziness was the cause of their fall from fame. They came to refer to him as "Shuichiella" as he freakily enjoyed dressing in the maid's outfit.  
  
Morning, noon and night, it was "Shuichiella do this!" "Shuichiella do that!" "Shindo-san, my piano is not a chew toy!" Poor Shuichiella felt like a slave in his own home! He didn't even have time to wash the dust spores from his pretty outfit.  
  
One day there was great excitement in the castle where they lived, for the manager, K and his band had gotten an invitation to play at the King's ball.  
  
"Big news!" he declared, "Bad Luck has a chance to regain its popularity by performing at the king's ball this Saturday evening! Anyone who's anyone will be there! Big smiles boys, we're back in business!"  
  
Hiroshi Nakano looked up from playing his lute, "That ball all the local girls have been giggling about because it's all a farce just to get the king's playboy son to tie the noose with someone?"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"As usual we only have a few days to prepare," growled Suguru Fujisaki, "great comeback strategy – really."  
  
K pointed his crossbow at Suguru, "Do we want a repeat of what happened to Sakano-san?"  
  
Suguru gulped, joyously opening his songbook. "I'm so happy to be under Mr. K's management!"  
  
"La li ho!" Sang Shuichiella, bounding into the room. He had overheard and was ever so excited to be able to perform again. "This is so cool, I wonder what I should wear...!"  
  
"Nothing," replied K.  
  
Shuichiella coyly blushed, twirling a lock of his pink hair, "Oh, it's a bachelor's party? Does the prince have any fetishes? Maybe I should bring my broom and that pumpkin – "  
  
"He means don't bother showing up," corrected Hiroshi. "We can't have you stuffing up our chances of making it big again."  
  
"Ehhhhh?!" Squealed Shuichiella, "But that's not fair!"  
  
Suguru folded his arms, looking away. "What's not fair is that thanks to you we were caught up in that Snow White conspiracy and had our good reputation tarnished!"  
  
Shuichiella pouted, "It wasn't my fault! I just told the queen she looked like she was putting on some extra pounds and before you know it her stepdaughter turns up buried dead in the forest. I hardly see what that had to do with me."  
  
"Either way you're out," K told him, "Now go milk the cows – and I don't mean the bulls you fool!"  
  
Shuichiella ran off, screaming like a banshee. It was just so totally unfair!!!  
  
Meanwhile at the King's castle there were also troubles...  
  
"I'm not going," coldly informed Prince to his father, "I have better things to do with my time."  
  
The bald king frowned, "You need a wife and by God you are going to choose one at this ball, or else!"  
  
Amused, the prince pulled back his blonde hair, unaffected, smoking his pipe. "Or else what?"  
  
His father evilly grinned at his son's contempt, "Or else I'll be forced to cut off all tobacco merchants to our fair kingdom."  
  
Prince Eiri's jaw widened in shock, his pipe falling from his lips; He cleared his throat, picking up his pipe, "Well...I suppose I can give it a go. At least I can get smashed and screw some of the finest alleged-virgins in the land."  
  
"You know," began his elder sister, Princess Mika, "you could bypass all this nonsense by simply accepting the hand of Princess Ayaka. But noooo, you have to be difficult and diss her just because she has a, quote 'miniature rack'!"  
  
"She does," chimed in Prince Tatsuha.  
  
Princess Mika kicked her youngest brother, "Silence!"  
  
Prince Eiri leaned against the window, staring at the vibrant gardens of the royal estate, "Why can't everyone just leave me alone?"  
  
Saturday night soon rolled around. Bad Luck had practiced all their songs and was ready to perform at the ball. Their manager had tailored for them shiny new outfits and hired a classy coach for the occasion. Shuichiella sniffled as he watched the coach disappear into the warm evening. He leaned against the doorframe; he would surely never be a star again.  
  
The fruity, pink haired boy fell to the cold floor kicking up and storm. "I wanna go! I wanna go! IIIIIII WAAAAAANNNNNNAAAA GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  
  
"We can help na no da!" Chirped a friendly voice. Shuichiella peered up. His vision was blurred thanks to his tears, but he could swear he saw two pink bunny feet. He jumped to his feet. "Hey, you're – "  
  
"I'm your shiny, shiny bunny Senpai na no da!" beamed a man in a pink bunny suit, a plush pink bunny named Kumagorou on his shoulder. "Kumagorou and I are big fans of yours and want to help you to get to the ball!"  
  
Snot hung down Shuichiella's nostrils, as his eyes grew large and watered. "I'm so happy!"  
  
His shiny, shiny bunny Senpai waved around Kumagorou, "Pika, pika, na no da, make Shu-chan look like a star!" In the winkling of an eye, Shuichiella's unfashionable rags were transformed into a shimmering tight tank top, short tight shorts and on his feminine feet were a pair of glass sneakers.  
  
"I look so gay," gasped Shuichiella.  
  
His shiny, shiny bunny Senpai blinked, "You don't like it? Kumagorou can make you another out – "  
  
"I like it," sang Shuichiella, admiring himself in the hallway mirror. Suddenly he remembered his violent manager; surely he would do away with him if he saw him at the ball!  
  
That's when Shuichiella's Senpai placed over his eyes a matching mask. "You'll be a mysterious guest na no da! Outside I have ready for you a coach Kumagorou made from a banana and two horses made from two oranges na no da! Oh, and a footman he made from a deadbeat named Aizawa he found drunk in a gutter na no da!"  
  
Shuichiella was overcome with joy – but couldn't help but wonder why his Senpai wasn't also going to attend the ball and perform.  
  
His shiny, shiny bunny Senpai's bottom lip trembled, his eyes widening in fear, "The young prince, Tatsuha-kun, keeps trying to touch our no-no parts na no da! We're emotionally scarred na no da!"  
  
Shuichiella wasn't listening, he'd already raced out of the castle and leapt into the carriage. "Take me to the ball, pronto!" He demanded, kicking Aizawa in the back.  
  
The Senpai scowled, "Shu-chan! Remember to be back by midnight! Otherwise you'll change back into – "  
  
"Yeah, yeah!" Called back the pink haired singer, "Don't wait up for meeeee!"

**[To be continued...]**


	2. What a Great Ball! The Party's Not Too B...

"Presenting Lady Rage," announced the page, reading from a scroll, "hailing from the Kingdom, Pandamonium."  
  
Prince Eiri yawned, slouching on his throne, smoking his pipe. "Aren't you that crazy wench I had burnt at the stake last month for organizing a bonfire of my literary works?"  
  
Lady Rage presented a canon, grinning. "Ha! You'll never defeat me!" Lady Rage lit the canon, covering her ears.  
  
Acclaimed actress, Judy Winchester, threw a goblet of water over the canon's fuse. "Rage dear, what did we say about trying to off the royals?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"To do it in secret so no one can trace it back to you!" Judy turned to the royal family, "I'm terribly sorry for my friend, we'll pick this up later."  
  
"Whatever," yawned Prince Eiri.  
  
Princess Ayaka stepped up, curtsying kindly to the Prince and his family. "Presenting Princess Ayaka, heiress for the throne of Ryuganji."  
  
The princess raised her head high. Something seemed a little...different...about her. Prince Eiri and Prince Tatsuha stared at each other and then at her chest. It'd tripled in size!  
  
"Your highness, it is a pleasure to be in your company again," greeted Princess Ayaka, smirking to herself at their obvious fascination with her enlarged chest. 'Call my rack miniature will they?'  
  
The Prince tapped his pipe, "Ayaka, you're looking rather...healthy."  
  
"And your chest is enormous!" Drooled Prince Tatsuha. Princess Mika promptly slapped her brother.  
  
"I implore you once again to accept me as your bride...please."  
  
Prince Eiri rubbed his chin in consideration, "Hmm, nah. I'll join you for a coffee in a closet later on if you'd like."  
  
Princess Ayaka shrieked, her insides exploded, transforming her into a frog. "Curses! Why oh why did I make that contract with the wizard Tohma?! Way to go Eiri, now I'm a freakin' frog!" The angry frog princess hopped away, grumbling to herself.  
  
It was hopeless. The prince wasn't interested in any of the women presented to him during the evening. Perhaps the rumours of the prince's...interests...had some truth to them. He did enjoy musical theatre and had great fashion sense after all. On top of that, Prince Eiri's mood had been dampened thanks to the crusty lyrics of hired band, Bad Luck. All hope was lost.  
  
"I knew we shouldn't have reused Shuichiella's lyrics," sighed Hiroshi, stroking his lute.  
  
Suguru slammed the piano keys angrily, "We didn't have enough time! Blame management!" The musician suddenly felt a sharp pain in his leg; he looked down to see an arrow buried into his flesh. "Oh...I suddenly feel...faint..." He keeled over. K aimed his crossbow at Hiroshi menacingly; he didn't want to be next!  
  
"Forget this," spat Prince Eiri, "I'm gonna drink a bucket of ale and sleep off this weak night."  
  
Just then, the hall doors burst open. Trumpets blew, and guests huddled together from the cold of the open door. A young man wearing a mask and barely any clothing bounded into the party. "Are we all ready to party down?!"  
  
The boy in the shiny spandex leapt on stage, booting Hiroshi and the pass out Suguru off. He motioned for the band to play. The party swang and partied hardy as he shook his tight tush, singing his heart out.  
  
Prince Tatsuha licked his lips, "He reminds me of that sexy beast, Ryuichi Sakuma. His crotch looks delicious."  
  
"Oh, everyone reminds you of Ryuichi Sakuma!" His brother rolled his eyes. Still...the young singer on stage did have a delightful pair of tight hotpants on. You could see everything.  
  
Prince Eiri felt his royal jewels tingling. Perhaps that nap could be postponed.  
  
Mr. K growled at the mysterious singer for taking the prince's attention away from Bad Luck. Curse him for ruining their big comeback! Grinning, he aimed his crossbow from a distance.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," warned a man from the shadows. "It wouldn't be good publicity for your band."  
  
"The wizard Tohma?"  
  
"Prince Eiri is finally smiling, his happiness tonight is important to me."  
  
"Oh? You're threatening ME if I assassinate that clown on stage?"  
  
The smartly dressed wizard stepped out of the shadows, casually smiling. "Oh no, just for the party. You're more than welcome to do away with him afterwards. We can't have him making the prince TOO happy, now can we? And if you don't I have a coach lined up to push that mysterious singer infront of."  
  
Shuichiella finished his set on stage. "Thank-you and goodnight!" He merrily skipped to the buffet table and began picking large morsels of food. There sure was a vast selection of food; the rich sure knew how to chuck a shindig! Shuichiella sat down and began to stuff his face with food. He was so wrapped up in his hogging down he didn't notice Prince Eiri sauntering beside him.  
  
Prince Eiri peered down at the gluttonous singer stuffing large wads of food into his mouth, almost vacuum-like. His groin ached at the mechanics of the boy's mouth.  
  
"On behalf of the Uesugi royal family I thank you for your energetic performance on stage," the Crown Prince humbly thanked. But the singer ignored him, preferring to indulge his appetite. "Hey!" Prince Eiri ripped a ham leg from the singer's mouth.  
  
"I was gnawing on that!" He pouted, waving his arms out pathetically for it. "Who do you think you are?!"  
  
"Prince Eiri you uneducated dimwit!" Growled the prince, thrashing the ham over Shuichiella's tender head.  
  
Shuichiella rubbed his aching head, staring up at the handsome prince, wide- eyed. "Oh, nice to meet ya!" He returned to his feeding frenzy.  
  
The prince growled, hitting him again. "You're supposed to be in awe! You're a peasant; I'm a prince! You're a terrible writer; I'm a treasured talent! And so on and so forth – GET IT?!" Frustrated, Prince Eiri took deep puffs of his pipe.  
  
Aghast, the fruity singer leapt to his glass-clad feet, waving a finger in the prince's sour face. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A TERRIBLE WRITER, MY WORK IS CRITICALLY ACLAIMED!"  
  
"By who?"  
  
"THAT GUILD MY MANAGER PAID OFF!"  
  
Prince Eiri was going to respond to the singer when his father approached him. "Son, quit fraternizing with the entertainment and find a broad to hook up with! Time is running out you lazy good for nothing! I have half a mind to have you turned into a toadstool and give the kingdom to Tatsuha!" The King stormed away.  
  
The prince turned to the singer, blowing out a puff of smoke. "So...wanna see my dad's chamber? We can dance all night in his bed if you like."  
  
Shuichiella cocked his head in confusion, "Won't it be awkward dancing on a bed? Can you even hear the band from there?"  
  
He really was an idiot. Prince Eiri took his hand and led him up the stairs. Shuichiella gasped when the prince threw him into the King's chamber and slammed the door shut. He wasn't even allowed to take any food with him!  
  
Surrounded by plates of food, Princess Ayaka ate what she could find, licking in passing flies every now and then. Life was so unfair.  
  
"This sucks," sighed a young man beside her. "All I wanted was to be a famous lute player and score with hot wenches."  
  
Princess Ayaka rolled her large eyes, big deal; at least he wasn't a frog. "You'll live."  
  
Hiroshi sniffled, "So your highness, if you're kissed will you change back into a human?"  
  
"No, that would have cost extra."  
  
"I see..." she was a rather attractive frog, though that could have been the ale talking. "Would you like to join me in my coach for coffee?"  
  
Princess Ayaka frowned, "Sure, anything to get my mind off my horrid fate."  
  
Shuichiella sprawled over the King's bed, puffing and panting. "Wow...eight times!"  
  
Prince Eiri took a puff of his pipe, pleased with his vigour and the various stains covering his dad's favourite quilt set. "Like to make it make it a ninth? We have all night to dance away."  
  
As the two locked into each other's arms again, Shuichiella could hear the chiming of the castle clock. Hadn't the shiny, shiny bunny Senpai mentioned something about getting home before midnight? Bah, he's not his mother!  
  
"Kumagorou Beam!" Shuichiella's eyes circled dizzily. A Kouhai should always listen to their Senpai!  
  
Shuichiella pushed the prince off of him. He jumped out of bed and gathered the meagre clothes he was given, slipping them on in a frenzy.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?!" Demanded the prince.  
  
There was no time! Shuichiella kissed his prince and ran from the room, hopping as he slipped his glass sneakers on. As he went to slip the other on, he lost his foot, tripping down the stairwell, landing by the door. Dazed, the singer ran for his life, accidentally leaving behind one of his glass sneakers.  
  
"What was that all about?" wondered Noriko, the Sugarplum Fairy.  
  
Prince Eiri raced down the stairs, wrapped in a bed sheet. The guests all cringed, oh great, ANOTHER sex scandal within the royal family. Prince Eiri knelt down and picked up the glass sneaker, he clasped it with both hands, the sheet falling down.  
  
"God that boy was a hot fuck, I must do him again!" Declared Prince Eiri.  
  
Prince Tatsuha giddily pointed at his brother's still erect princehood. "Eiri, I can see your doodle!"

[To be continued...]


	3. Warts and Ruffles

Shuichiella made a mad dash home, arriving just before Bad Luck and K. When they walked through the doors they found their maid lying in a puddle of sweat in front of the fireplace.  
  
"What's up with you?" Demanded Mr. K.  
  
"Oh, I was just..." Shuichiella pondered for a moment, rubbing his head, "Lying here all quiet-like and not at the ball rockin' the party, when I began thinking about that hunky Prince Charming. Oh, those deep blue eyes you could drown in...his tender smile...strong muscular arms...that manly, delicious bulge...excuse me, I'll be in the bathroom!"  
  
Hiro shrugged, "Nothing odd here. Let us wallow in crapulence as we plan the death of that bastard who stole the stage."  
  
"Agreed," growled Suguru and K.  
  
Shuichiella finished up pleasuring himself in the bathroom, laying a hand on the bathroom mirror, puffing and panting. He fell his knees – man he was so turned on! What began, as a desperate bid to pretend he was an innocent handmaiden being taken against his will in the parlour by Prince Charming, soon went to pretending he was a lone cabin boy trapped on a ship with thirty horny pirates. Still turned on, his last fantasy was a throwback to his passionate rendezvous with Prince Eiri in the King's chamber. He was ever so sexy and forceful!  
  
Clasping his hands together, he brightly chirped, "Oh, I hope I'll get a chance to play doctor with Prince Eiri again!"  
  
His Shuichihood began to tingle. "Oooh, here we go again!"  
  
The days passed by uneventful, save for that Black Plague epidemic in the next kingdom over.  
  
"Father, this plague is in all of the news presses," sorrowfully explained Princess Mika, "it's so tragic! We should send them some aid."  
  
The king lit up pipe, rolling his eyes, "Oh bitch, bitch – everyone has problems, for example, I have a starry eyed poofter for a lousy excuse for a son!"  
  
"Father!" Gasped Princess Mika, "The politically correct term is homosexual! I know Tatsuha's a little out there, but there's no need for such profanities."  
  
"I'm talking about that bastard, Eiri!"  
  
Princess Mika coldly threw away the newspapers in her hand, "Oh, why didn't you say so? I can't believe how ridiculous Eiri has been acting; drooling over that smelly glass sneaker, and writing limericks about the tightness of that boy's ass, who in their right mind wants to read that?!"  
  
"Me! Me!" Giddily sang Prince Tatsuha, appearing in the room, bouncing up and down like a hyperactive elf.  
  
"There once was a mysterious singer, Who really rang my dinger, Now he's gone, I'm left to mourn, My hardness can only linger."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Yelled his father and sister.  
  
Desperate the king got out his address book, "There's still time, hopefully Princess Ayaka can try another round of getting Eiri to marry her. Eight hundredth time's the charm, right?!"  
  
Tatsuha lazily yawned, perched on his father's chair. "He wouldn't marry her as a human, what makes you think he'd marry her as a frog?"  
  
"This is all your husband's fault!" Accused the king to his daughter, "What were you thinking, marrying a wizard?!"  
  
"Don't blame Tohma! His job isn't easy; He can't help that as a powerful man he has the power to bring both bliss and misery. Do you think he enjoyed turning her into a frog?!"  
  
"He didn't seem to care either way, when we were talking in an empty closet as you bitched about the economy with Snow White," explained Prince Tatsuha.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Never mind...oh look, it's Eiri!"  
  
Prince Eiri confidently stepped into the room, dramatically holding the sneaker high, "I declare that I shall that find that jovial idiot at my father's expense, and make him my naughty nurse!"  
  
"Oh dear God," gawked Princess Mika and the king.  
  
Prince Tatsuha lay back in his chair, scratching his belly, "When you find him, can I borrow him on weekends?"  
  
The hunt for the boy with the hot posterior went on weeks. Every boy and young man in the kingdom was to try on the glass sneaker. The sneaker was especially fitted for a certain person's foot, so Prince Eiri was hoping he was correct in his assumptions and wouldn't be held to contract if it happened to fit the wrong foot.  
  
When the Prince came knocking at Winchester Castle, hearing four gay looking men lived there; he just had to take a look for himself.  
  
"Big News!" Declared Mr. K, "Prince Eiri has shown up!"  
  
"He's going to offer us an entertainment contract?" exclaimed Suguru Fujisaki.  
  
"If by constant sex, yes."  
  
Suguru folded his arms, turning away, "I am NOT trying on that damn sneaker; I'm NOT gay!"  
  
"Really?" Gasped Shuichiella, as he dusted a painting, "then what's up with the effeminate body movements, round-the-clock nagging, ceramic kitty collection and your needlepoint hobby?"  
  
"What does that have to do with anything?" he demanded, both hands on hip – Shuichiella really did have a point.  
  
Just then, Hiroshi wandered in, scratching his crotch painfully. "The prince is here, cool. Let's get this over this, I have stuff to do later."  
  
Shuichiella was excited that Prince Eiri was at the castle, however with K around he didn't want to take any chances; Shuichiella hid in the bathroom, whiling away the time by twirling in front of the mirror, admiring again and again how pretty his frilly dress looked.  
  
"OK, let's get this over with," sighed Prince Eiri, his servant laying down the pillow the glass sneaker lay upon.  
  
Grumbling to himself, Suguru attempted to slip his foot in. But his foot was too big. K readied his crossbow, "A few cuts and it'll fit!" Prince Eiri glared at the fellow blonde, he wasn't going to buy that, as gay as the grumpy boy did was.  
  
"Good, I'm glad it didn't fit! I'm sick of this place, I'm off to take that job offer as a bridge guarding troll!" With that he stormed away, to forge a lucrative career as a grumpy troll, revered in such legends, as The Three Billy Goats Gruff and well, it seems just that. Moving on...  
  
Wriggling on the sofa, occasionally scratching himself, Hiroshi also found his foot was too big.  
  
His constant scratching sickened the prince, "Do you HAVE to do that? What the hell is wrong with you?"  
  
Hiroshi blushed, "They're love warts from my fiancé. We're going to get married next week." Blushing and grinning he turned to leave, "Don't mind me, I have plans to arrange. By the way, if any animal rights activists come knocking – you've never heard of Hiroshi Nakano."  
  
"Ugh," gagged Prince Eiri, "Mind if I use your loo? I do believe I need to chuck up my lungs."  
  
Mr. K grumbled, abandoned by both members of Bad Luck. "Sure, sure. Second hall, the second room on the left."  
  
Prince Eiri wandered through the castle, still holding the sneaker. Wasn't there said to be four gay men living there? Once he found the bathroom, he indolently opened the door, too preoccupied to notice the fruity maid twirling dizzily in front of the mirror. Deciding a piss was more on the agenda, he opened his fly. Shuichiella stopped twirling, clutching his mouth, staring at that familiar shaft. His tongue hung out, drooling all over the floor.  
  
Satisfied, he zipped back his pants.  
  
"Awwwwww," mourned Shuichiella.  
  
The prince started, jumping back, "What the...who're you?!" Prince Eiri looked the pink haired man up and down. He wore a short French maid's uniform, complete with white stockings and a frilly headband.  
  
Shuichiella cutely batted his eyelids, "Oh your royal handsomeness, my name's Shuichi Shindo, but everyone calls me Shuichiella."  
  
"How terrible for you, why?"  
  
"...Because I ask them to. Like my outfit? I bought it off a stripper on a tour in Paris!"  
  
"What a moron," he grumbled to himself. Wait a sec! "Hey, loser, try this glass sneaker on."  
  
"I'd rather not."  
  
"This is a ROYAL order."  
  
"No thank-you."  
  
"I said DO IT!"  
  
"Nah."  
  
"NOW!"  
  
"Can't you take no for an –"  
  
"I'LL SPANK YOU!"  
  
Shuichiella plopped himself on the cold tiled floor and slipped the sneaker on with ease. At last Prince Eiri had found the sexy idiot he had longed to stain up his dad's bed again!  
  
Shuichiella bent over, "Can I have that spank now?"  
  
"Fool!" Prince Eiri whacked him over the head with the basin. "We can do that when I get you back to the castle."  
  
Bleeding profusely from his cranium, Shuichiella leapt into his prince's arms, "Oh my darling, will you make me your queen?"  
  
Petticoat ruffles irritated Prince Eiri's nose, "Honey, as far as I'm concerned you're already a queen."  
  
And they all lived happily ever after.  
  
Except for Suguru...  
  
THE END  
  
Sammy's Notes: I hope you enjoyed this little farce; in the near future I'll attempt some more Gravitation fairytale send-offs.  
  
For the record, I'm actually a big fan of everyone, including Ayaka and Suguru – so any jest at them was merely for the sake of humour.  
  
Be sure to check out my doujin site listed in my profile! 


End file.
